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1. edition.
The original Finnish edition was published electronically on 22.1.2005.
This English translation was published electronically on 2.7.2005.
Table of Contents
For Reader
Introduction
Santeri's
entrepreneurship and longing for security
Päivi and
meaningful work
The Rat Race
An Example
Escape
Life Outside
Shadows In The Paradise
Never-ending Story
Appendix: Rhoughts
For Reader
This is a travel story of three different journeys. All of them
are tied to each other and happening in the same place, at the same
time. They are: the journey into ourselves, the journey to the other
side of the world, and the journey to find the meaning of life
outside Rat Race. In this book we will define the concept of Rat Race
and use it to describe our current thoughts regarding the meaning of
life. We have included some photos taken from our journey, and some
song lyrics. Those lyrics have got a whole new meaning to us in our
current reality outside Rat Race.
This book was born by chance. We discussed about writing it but
soon concluded that we should not waste our time to such
rat-race-like effort. Later some of our friends decided to make
changes in their lives. That made us to change our minds and write
the book.
We hope this book will initiate an internal discussion in the
reader about one's own personal goals in life. And lead to examining
personal motives from a bit more selfish perspective. In the
beginning and at the end of the book there are tests that can be used
for measuring personal happiness.
This book is dedicated to Raido, Päivi, Nana, and Kati.
The English translation is dedicated to Bill, Marina, Maddog,
Pedro, and Tom.
Happiness test A
Let's start with a test you can use to find out how happy you are.
Please answer the following questions frankly.
The most important things in my
life are (please give numbers in the order of significance from 1 to
6 to each, where 1 is the most important):
_____ success
_____ challenging job
_____ house, car, summer cottage, and all other things
_____ family, friends, colleagues
_____ free time, vacations, hobbies
_____ money, savings, investments
If I won big money in
lottery I would:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
I would be even happier in
my life if:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
After my retirement I will
do:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
The most important things
I own are:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
I value most the following
public services:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
I can not end up being
homeless because:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
The meaning of my life is:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
Thank you for your answers.
Let us return to them at the end of the book.
Introduction
Asmoke
curl passes quickly my eyes like the first swallow
right after the sunset. Smoke disappears soon and I sense the strong
aroma of Cohiba cigar. Fidel Castro and Che Guevara are staring at
me, cigars in their mouths and with the look of statesmen, from dusty
photographs hanging on the wall. Waitresses circulate around serving
coffee to the customers. In the middle of the room there is a glass
desk holding chocolate, vanilla, and banana cakes. In the next table
there sits a long haired, bohemian man of about 50 years of old,
smoking the cigar. He is reading a book about socialism. The calm
atmosphere is harshly violated by a disheveled-haired boy appearing
to the door. He is wearing rags and begging for a coin, a piece of
cake, a smoke. Suddenly two flies end up to my coffee cup. I lift
them tenderly up and put them to the ashtray. The other fly stumbles
up, climbs on top of the tray, and starts to dry his wings. I am
happy for him. The other one lies dead in the middle of the tray on
top of ashes. His meaningless death makes me feel sad. I might have
been able to save his life if I had lifted him up faster from the hot
coffee. Or if I had laid him on top of the tray. I feel myself
peaceful and balanced. I am not hungry, I do not need anything, and a
warm hand in my hand provides calmness and security. Everything is
finally well. I am happy.
We use the term 'Rat Race' to
describe the dominant, modern lifestyle. The Rat Race works like a
hamster
wheel: no matter how fast you run, you still will not
get anywhere. The Rat Race is an entity which is formed by factors
that make us feel safe, such as work, belongings, family and social
relationships. Most people live in the Rat Race. Its effects are seen
everywhere. Even so that only actions of those who participate in the
Rat Race, are perceived to be rational and normal.
Everybody feels from time to time insignificance in his life in
the Rat Race. It appears as anxiousness of the present time, longing
to the past and, first and foremost, longing for a better future.
Happiness here and now seems to be unachievable. However, we dare to
suggest that happiness is one's own choice. When one makes this
choice consciously and pursues it persistently, one simply can not
fail. Why is that so?
We have had a good life. Santeri worked in his own terms in a
field that he had been dreaming of. He achieved everything he wanted.
However, he lost the most essential thing in doing this. After
achieving all the expectations and aims the Rat Race had set to him,
he did not know what he himself wanted of his life. After spending
months in an aimless and frustrating state of mind, a sudden change
occurred. Santeri remembered one of the most important values of his
ex-firm: happiness. He dared, against his values and comprehension of
that time, to think about happiness and try to figure out what would
make him happy. However, he did not find any answers to the question.
Instead he discovered that the only sources of happiness he could
think of were not his nor originating from his personal needs. They
were based on general conceptions of happiness and they were exterior
to him.
Finally Santeri found out that to be happy he needs beside him a
person whom he can love, and who loves him. He started to work for
the aim pedantically as an engineer, and this is the result: we are
sitting together in Fortaleza, Brazil, in a cigar café. We
have expressed our love to each other already twice today. And the
tender moments of the morning still please us. We have no aims,
timetables nor obligations to do anything. We live like gypsies
circulating around the world without permanent residence. From
Santeri's previous frame of values we could be classified as spongers
who do not buy or consume materia to keep the Rat Race running. In
spite of that we feel ourselves happy and fortunate.
The change in Santeri's life happened in the spring 2004. Most of
his life he had been thinking that the meaning of life is all about
reproduction and dying, in Päivi's words proceeding. Santeri
understood the meaning of happiness and the existence of the Rat Race
only after his second divorce, and recognized that he had been
accomplishing his life for no other reason than proceeding. He was
expected to do so and he genuinely thought that happiness would arise
from safety, wealth and success. This, however, led him even farther
away from true happiness.
Päivi had been work oriented and searched meaning to her life
through challenging jobs. She changed work rapidly to advance her
career but realized that none of them met with her expectations. She
could not accomplish her real interests, and working became just a
means for earning money. Päivi tried to adjust to the fact
lowering her expectations by thinking that work is just work, but
soon she realized that she did not have enough free time to do all
the things she really wanted to do.
Like Santeri, Päivi longed for a companion with whom she
could share everything. In July 2004 things clicked when we started
to date. We wanted the same things of our lives and our chemistries
matched. It felt great to have found each other after such a long
search.
What would you do if you only did what you really wanted? Why
would you not do that in any case, and at all times? And what is
perhaps the most important question: do you know what you would like
to do to be truly happy? The biggest hindrance in achieving happiness
is our own thinking. It is alienating us from our personal goals and
from the happiness of achieving those goals. It makes us to see happy
people as butterflies, who wander around without any targets. We too
have been guilty of this kind of thinking. We also understand why
people want to defend their own aims that are actually creating
dissatisfaction. However, we do not want to believe that anybody
would consciously choose to have an unsatisfactory life. That is why
the awareness is the first step toward happiness. Everything starts
from answering the question: “What do I personally want from my
life?”.
Happiness is subjective. It is not possible to find its source
nowhere else but in oneself. The process is demanding because our
thinking is based on achieving happiness from exterior sources. What
makes us to think this way? The answer can be found in the following
stories where we tell about the reasons we escaped from the Rat Race.
We both had different paths and rationale. For Santeri, the most
important thing was the disappearance of the feeling of security the
rat race had provided to him. For Päivi, it was loosing her
interest to working and proceeding.
Santeri's entrepreneurship and longing for security
Light
brown skin was filled with small drops of sweat. Sunshine reflected
from the drops and revealed the stress hormones floating under her
skin. Her hair was covered with black net and she was wearing a brown
skirt tied with strings from the back. Under the skirt she had a
t-shirt and in otherwise bare feet there were little red sandals. The
cafeteria was crowded with customers who eagerly waited for their
orders to be fulfilled or who placed new orders. There were tall
German men with tattoos, a few local 30-year-old women, a group of
Swedish or Norwegian tourists, and three local families with their
small children. The waitress shuttled between the tables delivering
orders to anxious customers. She told everybody the same calming
mantra to calm them down: you will receive your coffee in just a few
minutes. While she turned her back to one of the customers, she
mumbled that there was such a hurry, for Christ's sake, and made a
small leap towards the bar desk to fetch an ashtray. The air was
electrified by this unexpected invasion of customers during day time.
I was thinking about where had all the beggars gone. I had not seen
them today. Suddenly I felt a touch on my shoulder and blocked the
intruder instinctively with my hand. It was a child beggar who was no
staring at me amazed and holding his apparently hurting hand. He
stood there beside me for quite a long time. When he finally walked
away from the cafeteria, he went behind the fence to show me his
middle finger. The hassle in the cafeteria continued half an hour
more and after that we were alone again. We sat at our table thinking
that it would be a good time to order one more round of coffee. Our
mind changed after noticing that the waitress was wiping her sweat
and eating a little salted pie behind the bar. It would have been a
sin to interrupt her well deserved break.
I moved away from my home in Helsinki to begin my studies in 1989.
I had chosen the University of Technology of Tampere over the
Sibelius Academy and a career as a musician. I had high hopes of an
economically prosperous future. This was the beginning of my life as
an adult. The first months I slept in the sofa of a family friend and
went to school from downtown to Hervanta. Student dormitories were
scarce and I was to get an apartment only in the next term, at the
earliest. The alternatives I had were renting from the private market
or buying my own flat. The real estate market was at that time
overheated, and there was hardly no offering in the private rental
market. I opted for buying. It was cheaper in the long run and I
considered the flat to be a secure investment.
I bought a studio with 100% loan near the university. I dared to
take the loan even though I had not served in military yet. The army
promised to me that I would not have to make payments on the house
during the service. In addition, my wife, who studied social
sciences, told me that we could also have other subsidies from social
security if some unresolved money problems should arise.
While I was in the army I found out that there would be no
subsidies for the loan interests before using all my savings first.
That ate all my savings, that had originally made it possible for me
to buy the flat. When my first wife moved to the flat together with
me and we bought a dog, we had to move to a bigger flat. After that
the bank crisis began. I got a letter from my bank stating that they
are bankrupt and that they demand me to pay the loan back immediately
or to submit more warranties because at the same time the prices of
the flats had fallen.
I sold the flat to resolve the problem. I had more than 100.000
Finnish Marks of loan with no mortgage or any realistic possibilities
to pay them back because I was still a student. Later sense proved
this was all my fault. I had been a fool when trusting that the
social security system would help me. One has to stand on his own
feet if he wants to succeed.
In 1991, the employment market was dead so I had to start running
my own business to pay back the loan. The solution was both good and
bad. In 1995, I had paid back all my loans, I had succeeded as an
entrepreneur, and I was doing a job that pleased me. The flip side of
the coin was that I was married with my work and my company, in
result of which my marriage ended up to divorce in 1996. My second
marriage also led to divorce in 2003, and for the same reason. Double
marriage did not work. When I got married for the third time with
Päivi I first divorced from my company to solve this problem.
I had raised a fortune but it was causing me all the time more
troubles. When I had been poor, I had worried about paying everyday
bills and house payments. I dreamed of being so rich that I would not
have to care for money at all. Finally, when I had money, I started
to worry about it and how not to lose it. I asked myself how much
money one should have so that the future would be completely secured?
What amount of money makes you feel that you have enough? What if one
then looses the money for some reason? How one should guarantee the
security, anticipate all the possible problems that might arise, and
to prevent oneself from running out of money?
With wealth came the fortune seekers. Some people sent fake bills
to my company and stole money from the cash box. I, on the other
hand, was sued various times for various reasons. Plaintiffs knew
that settling down the cases by paying the demanded money would
anyway be less expensive to me than going to court, even when all the
cases were pure bullshit. Lawyers consulted me to always settle down
the cases with money right in the first meeting. Dire Straits is
discussing the dilemma of wealthiness in their following lyrics.
Dire straits: Money for nothing
Now look at them yo-yo’s that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free
Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV’s
See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he’s a millionaire
We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchens deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV’s
I shoulda learned to play the guitar
I shoulda learned to play them drums
Look at that mama, she got it stickin’ in the camera
Man we could have some fun
And he’s up there, what’s that? Hawaiian noises?
Bangin’ on the bongos like a chimpanzee
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Get your money for nothin’ get your chicks for free
We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV’s, lord
Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free
The security, that was to be warrantied by the wealth, required
hard work. Because of continuously growing taxes I had to run faster
and faster in the Rat Race. I had to take more salary to be able to
pay the tax advances, and as a consequence, income taxes rallied sky
high. My efforts to maintain the wealth required ever growing effort.
Taxes ensure, naturally, the high standard of public services such
as public health care. My grandfather was hospitalized many years
ago. He was treated for a virus-based influenza for several weeks. I
visited him in the hospital every day and wondered why he got sicker
in spite of the treatment. He started to hallucinate, which i thought
was a symptom of going senile, but then he suddenly died. In the
autopsy they found out that his death was caused by a bacterial
infection. Antibiotics costing one euro would have been enough to
save my grandfather but the public health care system wasting
hundreds of millions of euros every year could not prescribe them for
him. For the defence of the system I do have to say that he was more
than 60 years old and thus no longer a tax payer, an important member
of society.
When society's institutions let me down, it was time to seek
security from family and friends. Family provided continuation in
life as I believed in a Darwinistic way. I have two children, one
with both of my ex-wives. I found out, however, that this source of
security existed only as long my wives stayed with me. Both of them
left me like Bill Clinton left politics after the famous cigar games
with Monica Lewinsky. In a divorce the children became pieces of
child support game. I had many friends, but most of them were just
after my money. In general, it seemed that the friendships from my
poorer times were better.
There is good and bad in everything. After all that happened I did
not become an alcoholic. But all the before mentioned things led me
to wake up from the illusion of security. Giving up this illusion
made it possible for me to rely on insecurity. I felt that I have
nothing to loose. The things I had previously valued, suddenly lost
their value, and, vice versa, some things that had earlier been
worthless to me, became important.
I dare to challenge Socrates' saying “Know yourself”.
It is not enough. It is more crucial to know what you personally want
from your life, and to focus all your efforts to achieving it. I
wanted to be happy and realized that I need a person who loves me and
whom I love to be truly happy. Before this change, I was not able to
recognize the existence of the Rat Race. I would rather say: “Know
what you personally want and then do it”.
Päivi and meaningful work
My
eyes are wondering on stained wooden walls. The paintings on the
walls are vertically lined up, very accurately, and their order
pleases my eye. A wooden shelf at the end of the hall has some
bottles, an old coffee mill, and a wooden watering can on top of
it. The watering can is decorated with some paintings of flowers. In
the shelf some coffee mugs, that all different, catch our attention.
We think that they maybe belong to VIP customers. They look like new
and have stayed over one month on exactly the same place. Our
conclusion is that they are part of the decoration. Would it be
possible to have our own labeled mugs on the shelf for our regular
visits? At least it would be in case we acquired the cafeteria. My
mind is filled with all kinds of ideas and business models for
developing the cafeteria until the voice of ration dampens them out.
Why should we return to the rat race just for two coffee mugs? On the
other hand ,there is a lot more stupid things happening in the world,
and due to less rational reasons. A loud noise of car engine
interrupts my flow of thoughts and wakens me up to this reality. A
beach buggy passes by rapidly. It is loaded with half naked, brown
teenage girls who filled with the happiness of life.
I began my studies in the
Department of Arts in Tampere University. During my first year I got
only six credits. This happened, because I only selected those
courses I was really interested in. Eventually I understood that I
needed to study other courses as well for getting my academic degree.
After that I started to proceed courses one by one.
I noticed that my student colleagues, who were a couple of years
ahead of me, graduated in the middle of the slow down of Finnish
economy. They had troubles in finding work while unemployment rates
hit the all time highs. I had made a butterfly-like choice. After
finishing my studies and graduating, I ended up working as a
researcher in the Academy of Finland. There I would have had a chance
to enjoy a bohemian lifestyle, but I selected achieving instead. I
made a tight schedule and defined clear goals. When I was 27 years
old I hurried from sheltered work, as I was naming University, to the
real work life with one PhD degree and two Master's degrees.
I had studied human sciences but also economics and journalism. I
knew that those would speed up my run in the Rat Race. I wanted to
earn more money than Academy or University could afford to pay me.
What more, I was not ready to agree on short or temporary employment
contracts, and to wait for a professorship for the next 20 years.
After four employers and half a decade of working I started to ask
myself what is motivating me. I had fulfilled all the requirements of
middle class life including a flat, a car, and a bank loan. I also
enjoyed various fringe benefits. The work itself, however, felt
meaningless, and days passed by for nothing. In free time there were
too many things I wanted to do: read, write, study Spanish, travel,
and exercise.
Traveling was my true passion. I lived every one of my work days
for one month vacation, when I could travel to the end of the world
and abandon my mobile phone. I traveled in Asia and South-America.
The culture of those countries inspired me. Similar passion was
writing. After leaving the university I was happy to have a break in
writing. However, soon I discovered that it was the most interesting
thing for me to do. I wanted to develop further my writing skills.
In the work life most challenges ended up being survival skills,
like pleasing your superiors and colleagues. A forward looking
employee had to boast loudly with a full calendar and run from one
meeting to another meeting in well ironed suit and a hands free
button in the ear. There was also training of these survival skills.
The message was simple: just follow the orders, because one can not
question them in a war either. The comparison to warfare was a bit
far fetched, but on the other hand it was as pathetic as the message
itself. The goal was to earn respect from the other people being
successful and famous, and earning big money.
I began to think that life is too short to be wasted for doing
something one does not personally want to do. The worry of having
enough money for easy living – or in current thinking accepting
a bit lower living standard – was too overwhelming. I did not
dare to quit my job.
On winter 2004 the corporation I worked for started a mass
dismissal. Labor union negotiations continued almost a year. In the
first round that concerned my business unit 2/3 of our 12-person team
left. Some voluntarily and some fired. At the end of the year there
was another round in which our unit took part again. In my day of
dismissal I was phoned to go downstairs to the meeting room to sign
the termination papers.
Two weeks later I started to work as a management consultant in a
small consulting company. I was able to accomplish more, and the work
itself was more meaningful. However, the hope of having a different
kind of life never died. When we started to date with Santeri all
pieces of the puzzle found their places. With the words of Ozzy
Osborne's Dreamer:
Ozzy Osborne: Dreamer
Gazing through the window at the world outside
Wondering if mother earth will survive
Hoping that mankind will stop abusing her, sometime
After all there's just the two of us
And here we are still fighting for our lives
Watching all of history repeat itself, time after time
I'm just a dreamer, I dream my life away
I'm just a dreamer, who dreams of better days
I watch the sun go down like everyone of us
I'm hoping that the dawn will bring a sign
A better place for those who will come after us this time
I'm just a dreamer, I dream my life away, oh yeah
I'm just a dreamer, who dreams of better days
Your higher power may be God or Jesus Christ
It doesn't really matter much to me
Without each other's help there ain't no hope for us
I'm living in a dream, a fantasy
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
If only we could just find serenity
It would be nice if we could live as one
When will all this anger, hate and bigotry be gone?
I'm just a dreamer, I dream my life away, today
I'm just a dreamer, who dreams of better days, OK
I'm just a dreamer, who's searching for the way, today
I'm just a dreamer, dreaming my life away
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
The Rat Race
Darkness
falls quickly like the rain in the Amazon rain forest. Cool sea air
is blowing in from the open doors of the cafeteria. It gives a
welcomed, gently touch to our sun burned, slightly red cheeks. We are
sitting at our customary table, others being still empty. I do not
remember what day of the week it is. After a bit deeper consideration
I realize it does not make any difference. It is all the same which
weekday it is. I just wonder why the cafeteria is so empty. Maybe
there is a mass in nearby church. Or maybe today is Wednesday which
is the least active day in the city. Three men in Bermudas enter the
door. They are wearing t-shirts and sit down to a table near us to
order sizable cigars. We are surprised when one of the men starts to
speak Finnish. They have not probably recognized us to be Finns as
well because they start discussing about their sexual experiences
with local prostitutes. They first compare girls' measures and colors
of their hair, and then start talking about reimbursements and motels
they had used. The men appear to emphasize that this vacation in the
middle of hard working is true quality time for them. Now they have
time to meet girls and enjoy sex. According to the men, girls have
also enjoyed. One of the girls had even started to cry when the man
had left the motel. I ask if we should order two more coffees. The
men are surprised, jump up, and leave the cafeteria quickly, cigars
hanging out from their mouths. We are again alone and have all the
time in the world to our own thoughts.
We discovered, through our own
experiences, that running in the Rat Race is easy. It is simply
enough to do everything just like everyone else. You do not need to
know yourself. On the contrary, if your own aspirations would lead
you to question existing authorities, your life would become right
away quite unpleasant. It is way easier to adapt to the current,
dominating ideals. No matter if they make sense as little as the
words of a well known song: “Life is life”.
Next we will discuss what is fueling the Rat Race. Themes covered
are success, work, property, social relations, free time, and money.
Success
The faster we managed to run in the Rat Race, the more successful
we were perceived to be. Success brings respect from others and it
helps to enhance one's self image. It also helped us climbing up
career ladders, to get more friends, and to generate wealth. However,
success itself did not make us happy because the goal to success was
not originating from ourselves. Success is actually measured by other
people against other people. It encourages continuous comparison.
Therefore it is very hard to believe that success could help someone
to feel true happiness.
Success is relative. Someone can be more successful than others
without feeling any happier. One strives for success primarily to
make oneself feel more secure. The downsides are envy and
accelerating the Rat Race of other people.
What does success matter if one despite of it feels unhappy? How
successful must one be so that his success can never disappear, like
what happened to Mr. Michael Jackson in his child molestation trial?
How successful one must be to be utmost successful?
A successful person is alone with his success. He is surrounded by
ass-licking people who are enhancing their own social status. Fine
example of the utmost successful people are the Formula 1 drivers.
Outside the Rat Race we do not care about success. We feel no need
to prove anything to anyone. However, we are happy for someone who is
valuing success and gaining it.
Work
We both felt that it is important to have a meaningful work. The
true meaning, however, was at the end of the day getting more success
and money. Would you work without salary? Or would you go to work
every morning if you would anyway enjoy similar success, respect,
maintain your work related social contacts, and live financially
secured life to the end of your days? We bet you would not, because
the feeling of security that work provides would become meaningless.
The true essence of work is proceeding. Things are not done
because one enjoys doing them, but because one has to do them.
Proceeding is justified with future material rewards. Being
continuously in a hurry prevents one from more profound thinking,
because if there is no hurry one is not important. Showing a full
calendar to colleagues provides great satisfaction and gives the
perception of highly qualified and respected member of the work
group, a true professional.
What kind of memories does this never-ending proceeding produce to
be remembered when one is retired? Childhood, school, studies,
working, retirement, death – which will be the highlight of
your life?
The protestant work ethic, which is highly valued in Northern
European countries, emphasizes the meaning of work. By working you
provide meaning to your life and material for building your own
identity. When meeting new people the essential question usually is
“In which company are you working?” instead of asking
“What makes you happy”. Work is assumed to depict what
one truly is: what he can do, what he can accomplish, how respectful
he is.
The fundamental insanity of work became concrete, literally, in
the Germany during the second World War. We hope this comparison does
not cause to the reader same kind of shock that Britney Spears'
smelling feet did in the airplane. Above the iron gate of Auschwitz
concentration camp it is written ”Arbeit Macht Frei”. It
means in English ”Working sets you free”. This is
actually what happens in the Rat Race. Working makes us free from
thinking what we really want and what makes us happy.
Another way to achieve freedom is to become aware of the Rat Race
and find out what one personally wants from life. If we were created
for working only, we would have born without heart and soul.
Outside the Rat Race we are ready to work only if we must. We do
not disrespect other people´s working, because it makes our
easy and selfish lifestyle possible.
Property
Fine examples of success feed the Rat Race, and envy – the
continuous comparison of other people's success. The easiest way to
compare is through material possessions. That is why the value of a
human being so often boils down to what he possesses.
Purchasing goods can become the meaning of life in the same way as
struggling for a better salary and a bigger apartment. Material
things are something we hung ourselves into like George W. Bush did
in justifying the killing with spreading democracy or at least the US
perception of democracy to the Arab world.
In the Rat Race we were never happy with the property we had, and
longed for something better and something more. When one need was
fulfilled there were always new, bigger needs waiting for
fulfillment.
The logic of buying and possessing ever more is the same as in the
economics, where growth is assumed to continue forever. But one can
ask, what is continuous growth good for? If you win in the lottery,
what would you buy to yourself to become more happier?
Property brings happiness and enhances the feeling of security
only for a short term. Instead, it binds the proprietor for good. In
the worst case a bank loan of 30 years does the same to the
proprietor as a small piece of land to a peasant in the 19th
century. The focus of life will be shifted to the future while the
present becomes work and money oriented proceeding. Property brings
along with it duties. A real estate, for example, requires
furnishing, renovating, fire inspections and tax paying. Cars require
regular technical inspections, service, paying taxes, and filing
forms. Furthermore, there is always the worry of losing the property
and protecting it from fire and thieves.
Outside the Rat Race property has lost it's meaning to us. We only
need property to satisfy our primary needs, nothing more.
Social Relations
Family and friends create a stronghold in life. However, if they
are acquired just to be the facade for advancing career ambitions or
social eligibility, they also bind oneself to the Rat Race. Children
can be a mere extension of oneself, which make one stand out as a
good mother or father.
Many personal relationships became a must for us in the Rat Race,
although they appeared to be self chosen. These were primarily work
relationships, such as clients, employees, colleagues, and superiors.
These acquaintances supported our self-esteem. Friends in remarkable
positions and even celebrities made our social status higher. These
personal relationships were not free of charge, though. Cherishing
them caused as much trouble as taking care of property. We had to do
smalltalk, assist different kinds of cocktail parties, try to please
everybody and stay friends no matter what.
Outside the Rat Race family and friends are an altruistic resource
to us. We do not expect anything from them. And we do not want them
to expect anything from us either. This way the relationship remains
pure and unburdened.
Free Time
Just like our work time, free time was also tightly scheduled. It
was quality time with high expectations. Free time was proceeded in a
goal-oriented way, according to the schedule. In holiday trips all
tourist attractions had to be visited, everything was recorded with
photos and post cards were sent to friends, and souvenirs bought to
decorate the house and the summer cottage. With photos and souvenirs
it was possible to brag with travels and to gain respect and cause
envy.
Hobbies in the Rat Race are selected so that they support more
noble causes like work and gaining respect. They are goal-oriented
proceeding. This is simply the natural consequence of a need to have
the whole life scheduled. If the hobby was something you genuinely
wanted to do, why would you not do it full time instead of
sacrificing your time to work and other secondary functions?
In ideal situations work can be a former hobby. However the
concept of work includes such components of the Rat Race, that make
it often unsatisfactory, eventually. The hobby becomes forced, if you
must do it all the time even when you would not want to do it. Or if
it forces you to do things you do not fully enjoy, like filing tax
reports, managing people, and selling.
Outside the Rat Race the concept of free time is absurd. We only
have free time which is free from expectations, schedules, and
milestones. If we like to do something and it makes us happy, we
focus completely on doing that; without making it a work or a
business.
Money
With money there was always the worry of safeguarding it and
making more of it. It is possible to make more money by taking higher
risks when investing it for example in stocks. However, with no risk
money slowly disappears thanks to inflation and property taxes.
Because of this, one must make more money all the time to keep the
level of wealth and accept the worry and work it takes. The worry and
work did not make us happy, does it make you happy?
Making more money and saving money are based on the same
assumption as network marketing; there is an indefinite amount of
people in the world. The Rat Race keeps going because people assume
that there is an endless amount of money in the world and plenty of
it for everyone to make more. The fact is, however, that there is
only a limited amount of money and it is distributed unevenly. There
is always someone who has more of it .
Outside the Rat Race money has become a necessary evil. You can
not eat it but you can use it for buying food. It allows us to make
what we want, in case that happens to require money. Still we are not
willing to work for money unless we have no other option. Investments
are for us an insecure waste of time. There can not exist any fool
proof security to conserve money. Simply nothing can be enough and
still it is not possible to leave your property behind with any care
and worries.
Summary
We have been discussing the most fundamental elements of the Rat
Race. They are able to provide continuity and feeling of security in
life. However, if everyone of us had always thought the same way, the
world would still be flat and no one dared to be happy. We hope that
telling how we escaped from the Rat Race can bring a message from the
reality outside the Rat Race. A task similar to the one Mathias Rust
did when he defected to Soviet Union with a small airplane and landed
to the Red Square in Moscow.
Being different is not accepted in the world of mediocrity,
dominated by the masses. Everyone should be in the same boat for the
sake of loyalty and community spirit. For example renting a flat,
self-inflicted unemployment, or accepting a modest work compared to
one's competence make others feel pity without exception.
We claim that by making things differently and fulfilling selfish
goals it is possible to be happy. There is no universal truth
defining how you must live your life. You have to define it by
yourself.
An Example
Let's play a mind game: what kind of a man would a happy Finn be?
We will illustrate two imaginative scenes of a happy person's life.
One is inside the Rat Race and the other outside of it.
Scene A:
The happy person has a good and challenging work. He lives in his
own house and drives to work with his new car. The house is decorated
with beautiful design decorations offered by all high class
boutiques. In the same place there are also living a gorgeous spouse,
two beautiful children, and a handsome, purebred dog. The happy man
is surrounded by many good friends, who help prospering in the career
path and give good investment hints to grow property. The man's
hobbies help him to succeed in work life and bring new good friends.
On holiday the man has a privilege to travel to the capital cities of
Europe and to make trips to distant exotic countries. Thanks to that,
our man can return to work even more refreshed and full of
efficiency, energy and new ideas. The happy man is taking care of his
future by cherishing actively retirement fund and saving money. They
will provide the means after retirement to fulfill long time dreams
and a good heritage for the children. Thanks to the generous salary
the employer is paying to the man he is able to purchase long term
investment property like a summer cottage. Weekends in the summer
cottage are true quality time together with his family and friends.
The man is also pleased to pay his share of the production costs of a
welfare state in the form of taxes.
As reward the man gets one of
the best public health care systems for free, high quality education
for the children, and increased security in the form of a more equal
society. It is like winning in the lottery to be born here, the man
is thinking while he is driving to work early in the morning with his
brand new car.
Scene B:
One month later the third round of dismissals ended in the man's
working place, and all employees who were enjoying excessive salaries
were terminated because of decreased profits. Unfortunately the man
belonged to this group. The mold damage discovered from the house
forced the family to move temporarily to live in the summer cottage.
Insurance company refused to pay compensation because additional mold
insurance was not subscribed. A bit later the bank had to sell the
house to recover half of the mortgage. The beautiful decoration of
the house had to be sold in a flea market because the summer cottage
was too small for storing them. Winter was drawing closer making the
life harder in backwoods. Water pipe froze and roads were blocked
because of snow. The retirement fund had to be cashed out for
financing moving to the cottage. Additionally some extra taxes
incurred because the laws were changed. The new car ended up to the
junk yard after crashing with a moose. Unluckily it happened in a
moose warning zone and compensation was refused. Friends alienated
because of a too long distance and a lower social status. Because of
that, the happy man started to spend time in a local bar drinking
beer. The spouse moved away and took the children and the dog with
her. I did not have to wait for the retirement, the man though when
he was playing the flute in the balcony of the cottage. Now the man
had all the time in the world to make his dreams come true.
In which scene the happy man is happier? Probably in both, or then
again, in either one. Happiness is not a competitive element basing
on external meters, like work, money, friends, and property. The
following song pictures quite well the happiness in the Rat Race as
we see it.
Nine Days: Keeping up with the Joneses
Keeping up with the Joneses
keeps you keeping out
as long as you have the will to get along
and what you do for you is never wrong
so don't you worry
don't you worry
and I was never keen enough
as long as this time is still ticking on the clock
but when your pretty face won't be enough
then I won't you want you won't to want to
you're wearing your corduroys and your diamond tooth
but you couldn't relate to the girl with the silver spoon
the lies that you're telling me are always true
it's true
you made a fool of me for believing you
so keeping up with the Joneses
keeps me hanging on
as long as I have the will to get along
and what I do for you is always wrong
but don't you worry
don't you worry
cause I would never give it up
as long as this time's still ticking on the clock
but when your pretty face won't be enough
now won't you want to won't you want to
I love you the most when you are fast asleep
and whatever I do for you I'm still the creep
I realize that I'm not good enough
it's tough for sensitive men in a world that don't give a fuck
so keeping up with the Joneses
keeps me hanging on
as long as I have the will to get along
and what you do for you is never wrong
but don't you worry
don't you worry
cause you would never give it up
as long as the time's still ticking on the clock
but when your pretty face won't be enough
then I won't you want to won't you want to
now even your corduroys are faded through
and when you're walking away
well I think it's a better view
the lies that you tell yourself
are always true
so true
and you keep on talking till your face is blue
keeping up with the Joneses
keeps you hanging on
as long as you have the will to get along
and what you do for you is never wrong
so don't you worry
don't you worry
and I would never give it up
as long as this time's still ticking on the clock
but when your pretty face won't be enough
now won't you want you won't you want you don't you want you don't
you want to
Escape
Flies
are circulating around us. They jump, tumble, and walk on us with
their dirty little feet. How on earth can there be so much of them
today. Or maybe we are unusually delicious with our sweating limbs.
That reminds me of an old saying concerning flies. According to that,
shit does not have to be delicious even though 10.000 flies like to
eat it. This time none of the flies ends up to my coffee cup, but I
sip all of it just to assure they will not do that later. It is
evening. In the nearby alley there is some fuzz. A group of children
dressed in rags move wildly around and swing their hands up and down
recklessly. We are watching them behind metal fence that is painted
black and made from spears sticking to sky. It is around two meters
high and creates a feeling of secureness. From time to time we can
see plastic soda bottles in the children's hands. They raise bottles
to their small noses, grin, and shake from pleasure. There is some
sticky yellow stuff in the bottom of the bottles. It must be glue.
Also the beggars that regularly invade the cafeteria have joined them
and are seemingly receiving their share of the fun. The bacchanalia
is interrupted by a police car rushing to the alley. The policemen
run out from the car and return with one big plastic bag full of
confiscated glue bottles. None of the children is arrested. The
police car drives away, and a bit later social workers arrive by car.
The disheveled-haired boy is gone, permanently.
Escaping the Rat
Race required us 1) to be conscious of the existence of the Rat Race
and 2) to know what we personally want. After that it was simply a
matter of choice and of making it happen. This chapter will describe
in detail how we left.
Preparing our departure took months. During that time we
questioned all the time our solution and considered consequences.
Despite of that our goals were clear. Santeri wanted to concentrate
on love and cherishing the relationship, and Päivi wanted
additionally to travel to South America and develop her Spanish
skills. These goals become one unified plan.
We scheduled the departure date of 29. October 2004 three months
ahead. The first leg was the capital of Brazil. One of Santeri's
former employees and friend Pedro lived there together with his wife.
This was the first and only point of the compass. We made no other
plans.
Two months before the D-day we did a final check from each other,
and decided that now we have crossed the point of no return. After
that the most radical activities begun including terminating working
agreements, selling all property, and telling our friends and
families about the plan.
When terminating work relations we received contradictory
feedback. Santeri's employees were joking that he is going to work
for Microsoft and turn his coat. There was a great worry concerning
the future of the company. It was personified to him and he was also
the public figure and spokesperson. In Päivi's case the small
working community was worried about securing continuity and finding a
new good employee. Our decision seemed to make both of our working
communities deceived in some way. To us, work was no longer the
meaning of life.
The fear of future and the leftovers of longing for security made
leaving a some kind of journey into the unknown. We were thinking all
kind of nightmare scenarios that could cause troubles later. Those
included for example tax reports.
Society, officials, and bureaucracy do not take into account the
persons who leave the Rat Race. The first real issue was the lack of
any permanent address. We could not inform post office, magistrate,
and other public registers of our future address. Our decision was to
wonder around the world without any points of the compass. The
permanent residency appeared to be the corner stone of the
eligibility in the society. We could not find any other solution to
our problem but redirect all the mail temporarily to the nuisance of
our parents.
We tried to avoid all kinds of troubles that could occur after
leaving because those would automatically fall into our parents
hands. We visited taxation office and informed them about our plans
and the end of receiving salaries. They were a bit astonished and we
felt that they questioned our sincerity. The challenge to be were the
tax reports of the year when we still had income. Päivi had
semiautomatic taxation but for Santeri it was practically impossible
to file that because of his absence.
People are slowly removed from official databases. To taxation we
should not be responsible after the year 2005. Or to be realistic, at
least after the year 2006. This naturally requires that we have
managed to get rid of all our property in Finland. Naturally we are
not any more eligible to public services in case we visit Finland. In
the public health care the transfer period is one year. We will keep
the Finnish nationality unless we want to take some other
nationality. Finnish law forbids double nationalities.
Getting rid of all the stuff we had gathered was quite an effort.
It did not make a big change that both of us had a tendency to
Spartan simplicity instead of herding goods. The biggest effort was
selling cars. Cars of a couple years of old were extremely hard to
sell. The value of a car collapses to half immediately when it is
driven for the first time out from the shop. The same applied to
things as well. The bid for Päivi's CD collection was
ridiculous, and we should have actually paid money for getting rid of
our furniture. The joint decision was not to purchase anything ever
again. Our parents were very helpful in placing, selling and
destroying things. Otherwise the three months we had reserved for the
preparations would have been too short. Some things we kept so that
we could give them away to our friends in our farewell party.
Preparing the escape was nothing but hard work in the Rat Race. We
made notes and to-do lists of things that would still have to be
taken care of. After accomplishing something we crossed it out from
the list feeling great satisfaction. One of the most pleasing
experiences was burning all the remaining documents in the fire place
and cook some sausages in the fire together with champagne we had
received as a wedding present.
The elimination criteria was to leave only as much things as we
could carry in our backpacks. Santeri took a few clothes, a sleeping
bag, and a tent. With Päivi it took quite a many iterations and
strict classification of the most necessary things to achieve the
same result. Now our property fits to two backpacks and still we feel
that we are carrying some unnecessary things. Getting rid of property
felt good and our hearts felt lighter, too. Now it is not a problem
to change a place whenever we want. Everything we posses is easy to
carry with us.
We took money with us in cash and in the form of credit card.
Getting a reasonable amount of cash was rational because VISA is
robbing a hefty 2.5% fee for all cash draws. To our astonishment one
of Nordea's branches in Helsinki city center only accepted to give us
5000 euros in cash. They claimed not to have enough money to pay more
and said we should have reserved the money in advance. Our conclusion
was that the money is probably very safe in that bank when even the
owner can not access it. Luckily the airport bank was more
co-operative.
While practical things kept us busy we made sure to have time to
meet our friends before leaving. When we told them about our plans we
received sincere wishes for good luck, but we quite often also caused
a flood of excuses why they could not do the same. A few of them felt
themselves a bit betrayed by us when we were abandoning the system
and country. Our solution made them to defend their own choices of
life and telling the excuses that lay behind them. Those were, for
example, a new house loan, new summer cottage, small children, and
insecurity of income. In our case the apparent wealth, which was in
reality quite fixed and tied, gave them an understanding of what made
our leaving possible.
We felt sad to leave our friends and families to Finland.
Santeri's children stayed with their mothers. Luckily the daughter
was allowed to participate in our wedding and farewell party. Santeri
is naturally longing for both of his children and keeps in touch by
email with the daughter. The son can not yet read or write so keeping
in touch with him without the help of a reluctant mother is not yet
possible. We do not expect that the children will be allowed to
travel to see us abroad as long as they are under aged.
We were thinking quite often why it is for some people so hard to
accept escaping from the Rat Race. One reason might be that it is so
rare. As long as there are no examples in the family or among
friends, it is hard to imagine somebody doing such. It appears that
only the rich and the famous can do so – all those people that
others admire and want to be like, but do not dare. This kind of a
polished impression makes the escape unreal. The other extreme is
condemning the leavers to be social outcasts and losers. Black and
white setup is due to the fact that inside the Rat Race leaving is
defined with the concepts of the Rat Race. It can be either a reward
of a great performance, or a punishment of not being able to keep the
pace of the Rat Race.
We started to consider escaping from the Rat Race based on our own
needs and feelings. In numerous discussions we had, we searched for
new points of view by questioning. Next list contains some of the
questions and thoughts that led to the escape.
Existence
is meaningless without knowing the meaning of life.
There is
always someone better or richer than you, but everyone can be the
happiest.
Do I dare
to reach for happiness?
Happiness
can be simply loving and being loved; it has nothing to do with
work, property, or money.
There is
only one correct path in life, it is exactly the one you are
walking.
Don not
trust anyone or anything except yourself when you are thinking about
your happiness.
Change
can only start from yourself, because others preach you what
benefits them.
Yes and
no together are the best answer to all questions.
If you do
not know what you personally want from life you should halt until
you find the answer.
We discovered that all our answers winded up to what is important
to us and makes us happy. The most important observation was that the
Rat Race could not offer us these things. This was a big step to us.
John Lennon describes these thoughts quite accurately in their
song “Imagine”.
John Lennon: Imagine
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
Life Outside
It
is noon. The sun is shining right on top of the sky like a red ball
of fire. Luckily our table is in the shadows. Otherwise we would burn
red like cooked lobsters.. A sneeze. Another sneeze. This can
not be true, can one get a flu in this heat of over 30 degrees
Celsius? The ambiance is unreal. The sun is scorching and nose is
running. On the other hand, it is a luxury to be sick and still be
able to go out. The rule of thumb is that one has to keep warm when
being sick. And outside is actually much warmer than in our
air-conditioned home. Below the horseshoe shaped bar made of dark
wood there is a glass vitrine whose door clangs. It is opened by a
waitress wearing a hairnet and she has a rag darkened by dust in her
hand, as well as yellow rubber gloves. The girl pushes the rag
between the cakes and the shelves and cleans them from dust. I am
thinking about a cake which has been dusted. Would anyone order those
cakes any more if they knew how they are handled. Is it better that
there is dust on a cake or that dust has been wiped away. I had been
thinking to taste the banana cake which was praised in our travel
guide as a local exquisite but I think I will pass after all. Maybe I
lie in wait for a new cake delivery and take a piece then. On the
other hand, in Brazil, in Amazon, banana is eaten with ash. Dead
relatives are burned and the ashes are baked with banana to be served
as a feast for funeral guests.
We wake up at noon.
There is no hurry and we can devote time to each other. A few hours
later we start walking to the cigar café. A waitress we know
greets us at the door and asks “Dois?”. It is almost the
only word in Portuguese we know. We nod and receive our standard
order to our table. It is two coffees with milk foam.
We are discussing everything possible with each
other. Thanks to these philosophical sessions we have found out a
perfect solution to one of the ancient questions of mankind: which
was first, chicken or egg. The solution was found from the national
epic of Finland called Kalevala. The answer is egg. Kalevala states
that the world was born from an egg of a bird called Sotka.
Our connection to our subconscious mind has strengthened. Earlier
we used to recall our dreams rarely but now we remember them clearly
almost every morning. We tell them to each other like movies we have
seen. After our departure Santeri has visited in his dreams all
periods of his life back to the childhood. In the dreams his identity
has been rebuilding bit by bit to reflect the new image of himself
outside the Rat Race. It would be interesting to know how Freud would
have interpreted these dreams.
Today we will go to buy flight tickets to our next stop, which is
the samba carnival of Rio de Janeiro. This way we will realize one of
Santeri's old dreams. Spending five days in Cobacabana is more
expensive than the two months altogether we are spending in
Fortaleza, but we have understood that there is no price for dreams.
We jump from the cafeteria to a bus and head to a travel agency.
It is very hot even though it is almost 4pm. We do not have sun
blocking lotion with us because there was no intention to walk a lot
outside. On the way we stop by in a big supermarket to search for
smashed potatoes powder. Our nearby shop had run out of it.
At this point Santeri wanted to write that we walked back from the
shop. Päivi felt stressed about possibly exaggerating the
distance of walking. Seems that Päivi was afraid that someone
would come to check the actual distances and interview witnesses for
proving the facts. She also claimed that Santeri was exaggerating in
purpose to give overly sporty image of himself. That is of course
true.
We arrived back to our neighborhood in Iracema. Let the reader
decide whether it happened by bus or walking. We stopped by in an
Internet café to find out there was some email to us.
Answering the email and searching for some information took two
hours. We have centralized our travel news to a diary which we intend
to update monthly. It is available at
http://paivisanteri.blogspot.com
We read from Internet some news about Finland. They feel quite
distant. Much more interesting is a cartoon called Viivi and Wagner.
It is published daily and it tells about a woman living with a pig
called Wagner. It is just like us. When stepping out from the café
we feel quite dizzy and wonder how we had coped with over eight hours
of continuous working in the office.
To clear our heads from the information storm we enjoy some more
coffee. All clients have changed in the cafeteria while we were away
except the old bohemian artist. He is part of the furniture like us.
We are going to miss this place when we travel away. A modest
infrastructure is quite sufficient for us. It is enough to have a
small flat with gas stove for cooking, a good grocery store,
butcher's shop, pleasant cafeteria, possibility to use Internet from
time to time, and a nice climate.
Life is quite a lot more simplistic nowadays. We go to sleep when
we feel sleepy and wake up when we have slept enough. Eating is not
tied to lunch or dinner times; we eat when we are hungry. We have all
the time in the world without the artificial limitations of daily
rhythm. Actually we have discovered that our rhythm follows tides
instead of the 24 hour daily period. The most important thing is that
we have enough time. We can concentrate on each other and to learn to
know ourselves better.
Daily we wake up to realize small things that make us happy. In
the morning there is no alarm clock ringing. We do not have to dress
to ties, suits, or any other uncomfortable business clothes. Small
talk is no more required as well as any other pointless talking, nor
embellishing. The greatest thing is to be able to spend our time with
the best possible company. There is absolutely no stress left, partly
thanks to the local mañana culture. It is no use to get
frustrated because no one else gets. Things will work out well sooner
or later, or maybe never. All the options are excellent in their own
way.
We stop by in a grocery store and buy food for the next few days.
Learning to use free home delivery service was quite difficult for
Päivi in the beginning. She felt strange having someone running
beside us with a carriage while we were walking back home. However,
after testing it a few times she accepted the service. Our groceries
are quite heavy because we have to purchase drinking water, then we
consume liters of soft drinks, and finally we are fond of water
melons.
At home Santeri begins to cook. He is quite a maestro in cooking.
But he has not exercised his skills hardly at all in past years
because of busy working in Finland. Now Päivi is cuddled with
all kind of feasts. Today there is Chinese chicken stew. After dinner
we enjoy a siesta and go to walk in the beach boulevard in the
evening. We watch some joggers who are passing by, and stop at our
favorite beach bar under palm trees to listen to the sound of waves.
At night, when the tide goes out, we walk back to home on the sand
of the beach. At the sand there is a colorful crab watching us
curiously with his blue eyes. It looks like a toy, Päivi
comments. Santeri touches the crab gently with a wooden stick and it
quickly digs himself into the sand.
It feels that love is a full time occupation and requires all of
our effort. We are ready to contribute that because love makes us
happy. Still, it can not provide a long-term and a 100% sure safety
in life. Therefore we enjoy every single day we can live with the
loved one.
The words written by the Beatles in the song “Let it be”
describe quite adequately the new approach to life we have assumed.
The Beatles: Let it be
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.
And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Shadows In The Paradise
Ablack
car stops at the door of cafeteria. Two men jump out and run to the
door. One of the men is small and burly, the other one rather tall.
They are wearing berets and bullet proof vests. Both have pistols and
knives hanging in their belts and the taller one has a machine gun in
his hands. The staff of the cafeteria is staring nervously at the men
and at each other. Suddenly I remember an incident that happened in
Estonia where they had to collect cover money by force. The shorter
man is picking at his pistol's button. The taller man says something
in Portuguese we can not understand. He draws his machine gun up,
locks and loads, and slides a bullet into the barrel starting to
shoot the staff hiding behind the mahogany bar. We grab each other
and hide under our stone table that is standing on rattan legs.
Bullets are ricocheting from the floor and the walls around us while
we snipe. I hear a knock and turn to see what was the cause of it.
There is a hand grenade beside us ready to explode. Suddenly I feel a
touch on my side. I turn to see what caused it and open up my eyes.
My love is waking me up from my morning nap and proposes to go for a
morning coffee to the cafeteria. We dress up and start to walk toward
hot and delicious latte. We arrive to the cafeteria. A waitress we
know is singing happily and the bohemian artist joins her in the
chorus. Everything is fine again.
This chapter is dedicated to the
side effects we experienced while and after escaping the Rat Race.
One of the most important things is that we will carry the scarves of
the Rat Race inside ourselves forever. The need to proceed is for
example our second nature because we were so deeply in the Rat Race.
Santeri frustrated because this book was not ready after writing it
for three days and nights without break. He was setting deadlines and
milestones to the writing project and agreeing review meeting times.
This might sound as confusing as the talks of Tony Blair when he was
defending the participation of Britain in the attack to Iraq.
Thirteen years of process oriented software engineering is hard to
forget.
Santeri was occasionally feeling useless and needless because his
identity was almost completely built upon his work. He was longing
subordinates for delegating tasks. Päivi had milder
detoxification symptoms from time to time. They were mostly related
to gathering property and business ideas.
We were seriously thinking about buying a beach buggy built from
Volkswagen beetle for a South American tour. After seeing a few
buggies and trying one by renting we found out that it would be such
a nuisance to own one. It would be impossible to verify the condition
of the buggy, and, anyway, driving thousands and thousands of
kilometers would require constant service and changing of falling
parts like spark plugs. Moreover, we would have to worry where to
keep the car safe and sound, and finally, how to get rid of it.
We also considered starting our own business. The cafeteria was
such a nice place that we were thinking about buying it. We had talks
with the owner regarding the price but luckily we came to our senses.
While thinking about buying, we found many flaws and a lot of things
requiring reparations and attention in the otherwise so nice café.
The Brazilian business environment would have probably offered at
least as much troubles as the Finnish one. Moreover, we do not speak
any Portuguese.
We are not free from the bureaucracy of the Rat Race here either.
Opening a bank account would have required obtaining a local social
security number called CPF. Probably we could have received it but
the process itself felt complicated and required hard work. The lack
of permanent residence and address is also a problem here. Even a
prepaid mobile phone subscription required having a permanent
address. Fortunately our Brazilian friend Pedro took care of that for
us.
We have tried to avoid all kind of contacts with officials. It is
simply frustrating. When we tried to prolong our visas in Federal
Police in Fortaleza we were first rejected because of wearing Bermuda
shorts, and second time because it was too early to do it. Prolonging
did not work out in Recife airport either. They directed us to
another police station in the city center. The prolonging is still
undone and we might get deported.
The activity or inactivity of government officials in Finland
comes to mind from time to time. Will they receive our tax reports in
time so that we avoid possible problems? There is still some
hard-to-sell property left in Finland causing troubles. This might
cause some nasty consequences we can not anticipate. Fortunately the
need of thinking these nightmare scenarios reduced a lot already when
the D-day came closer in Finland. On the other hand, we are aware
that there are no choices that would be right or wrong. One thing we
are sure about is this: we do not want to go back to the Rat Race.
The biggest problem right now is the social vacuum we are living
in. Communicating with other people is quite hard and not only
because we do not speak their language. While talking with the Rat
Racers it is hard to find common subjects and terms. After telling
about our lifestyle and escaping the Rat Race it is usually followed
by a deathly silence or suspicious questions. Other people who have
done the same decision we have not yet met. Naturally we miss our
friends in Finland and try to keep in touch with them by email.
Santeri is also missing his children and his dog. Boris died before
we left as if he had had an instinct for the forthcoming severities
of tropics.
Happiness test B
Rate the value of the following
things in relation to your personal needs. [ 0 = important to you
personally, and 5 = important to you because of other people]:
|
|
Success in life |
0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Having a meaningful job |
0 1 2 3 4 5 |
House, car, summer cottage and all other things |
0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Family, friends, colleagues |
0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Free time, vacations, hobbies |
0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Money, savings, investments |
0 1 2 3 4 5 |
|
|
Answer to the following
questions without using concepts of success, work, property,
belongings, house, car, summer cottage, family, friends, money,
savings, investments, loan, free time, hobbies, and vacation:
What makes you happy?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
The meaning of life is:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
The more points you earned in the first question, the better you
realize the existence of the Rat Race. Maximum score is 30. Compare
next your answers to the other answers you gave in the previous test
on page 5.
In the Test A there were
questions ”2. If I won big money in the lottery I would”
and ”4. After my retirement I will do”. What
prevents you from doing these things right now?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
Do you want to be happy in your life?
p Yes p No
If you answered yes, please write in detail what you are
going to do to reach happiness and find the meaning of your life
from now on:
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
How are your values divided into internal (your own, personal
values) and external (what other people want or expect you to do) ?
Are happiness and the meaning of your life really originating from
yourself? Do you know what you personally want from life?
Never-ending Story
The
wooden doors are always open. In the front door there are thick ropes
connected to the doors. The atmosphere is always welcoming when you
step in. It is like returning back to home. No matter that the staff
is looking bored and tired of working when new people arrive. They
are still service-minded, and quite often even too attentive. The
coffee cup might vanish while there is still some coffee left, and
the same applies to the ashtray. I exclaim to the waiter in
Portuguese: ”Bom zia, dois cafe con leitz e asugrina e un
sinsero e un quorum e dois malboro laitz por favor" and things
begin to happen. We receive the stimulants and a welcoming smile
flashes on his face when he reads the texts from our shirts. There is
written in big friendly letters "Não obrigado!"
Yesterday we were searching for a book store to get a Spanish or
English book for Päivi to read when we passed by a shirt
printing company. The numerous beggars and street vendors in beaches,
cafeterias, streets, and buses had earlier given us a thought of
making special t-shirts to save us from saying them the same mantra
again and again. Now there was a chance to do that. After receiving
the shirts we tested them on the beach boulevard. Most understood the
message and left us undisturbed with a grin or a smile in their face.
Only a few illiterates approached us to sell and beg. Even though the
text on the shirt was a humble protest of mere mortals like us, there
was a lot more profound meaning in the text than we could have ever
guessed. While sitting in the cafeteria and enjoying a cigar I
understood that this text summarizes perfectly the truest and deepest
essence of the life outside the Rat Race. We should be able to say
more often “No thanks”.
We both understand that these
thoughts are only current. Both our travels and our internal process
will continue. Fortunately we do not even know where it leads to. The
permanence of change is obvious because we do not worry about future.
We are living one day at a time, seizing the moment, doing exactly
what we want.
Returning to the Rat Race does not appear to be possible. The
selfishness that led us to leave has changed into unselfish altruism
and respect to life. To us, every single day is precious. Our only
wish is to encounter others living outside the Rat Race for sharing
experiences.
One could hear Friedrich Nietzsche's Zarathustra say: "Dead
is Superman: now we want a divinely happy human being to live"
while Machiavelli was turning in his grave. At that very moment the
cigar cafeteria La Habanera turned into a heaven on earth.
The original Finnish edition: In Fortaleza and Olinda, Brasil, on
26.12.2004 – 22.1.2005,
Päivi & Santeri
The English translation: In Buenos Aires, Argentina, on
27.6.2005-31.6.2005,
The same
Appendix: Rhoughts
The Rhoughts are a collection of Random Thoughts. The collection
is in alphabetical order and covers the subjects of this book.
All living is one and connected to each other. Trying to
separate yourself from others is fooling yourself.
Do you dare to live your dreams or just give up without even
trying?
Dreaming feels good but making dreams come true feels even
better.
How much money is too much for making your dreams come true?
How much would you be willing to pay for being happy for one
day?
If you can do or buy something it really does not mean you
must.
If you do something why not to do it well or at least as well
as you can?
If you had only one day to live in the Rat Race you would
waste only one day of your life.
If you seek for victory, profit, or gain there are inside
yourself even bigger things left to conquer.
Life outside the Rat Race means making such things that one
personally wants.
Love and sex are united in the same way as happiness and life
outside the Rat Race.
Making decisions is important and there is no right or wrong
decisions.
Sad memories and past things tie you to the past, not to
life.
Selfishness is a good thing but the best is to be selfish
openly and without shame.
The best way to win is not to play at all, because only
losers play.
The chasm between happiness and the Rat Race can be crossed
only with pure understanding of personal desires.
The only absolute truth is your own understanding of truth
and therefore you are the only one who can influence to it.
The only way you can be useful is to make yourself useless.
The road to hell is paved with things other people want or
expect you to do.
There can not exist genuine, unselfish friendships inside the
Rat Race.
To be what you personally want to be or not to be at all.
To own or not to own is actually a rhetorical question.
Traveling is in itself more fun than reaching a destination.
Why to delay making your dreams come true?
Why to pimp your happiness for money?
Keywords: The Rat Race, happiness, happiness test, meaning of life, philosophy, choices of life, art of living, are you happier, how could you become happier, happiest, freedom, free, materialism, materia, possession, property, money salary, real estate, savings, life, living.